Maureen Bandari

10 THINGS PEOPLE DON’T TELL YOU ABOUT POSTPARTUM

The first thing I did when I got pregnant was to download an app called baby center  as recommended by a friend of mine. I did well when it comes to updating myself week after week after week all through to delivery and I managed to research up until how and when a baby cries once you push.

That was the mistake I made, I hadn’t thought much about post partum. I was so consumed with pregnancy and ready to meet my baby in the end and forgot to enlighten myself about the after math. Most of the things caught me off guard while others I heard during the Lamaze classes and friends but I never got to know the extent to which they meant.For those who have children you will probably see familiar stuff and for those who are yet to, these are some of the things that you don’t get to hear about.

PS: I am going to be as honest as possible and as raw as it can get and I tried to recreate some of my pregnancy pictures with the baby. Hope you love them.

1)you will still look like you are 6 months pregnant

I remember when I checked into the hospital I saw familiar faces walking around and I remember asking one lady I knew if she just checked in to the hospital for delivery because her tummy was still huge and she told me she is about to check out with her baby. The shock!! I looked at her tummy and got confused. Well, the confusion ended when my turn came. Honey I know I wasn’t expecting a flat tummy but hell nooo,looking six months pregnant was not in my mind. funny thing though  is that when you have a hearty laugh at that time ,your tummy (mummy pooch) moves like crazy since its literally just hanging there

2)You will bleed a lot especially on the first few days

This was the scary part of it all. A friend had mentioned bleeding but I took it as a normal menstrual cycle. Boy was I wrong!!!!!!! we are talking bleeding where by if you were to stand it’s similar to your water breaking and possibly might end up being all over the floor like in my case. I wanted to start breastfeeding immediately but since I blacked out and slept,they took my baby to the nursery. once I woke up and asked the nurse if I can breastfeed she told me to go to the nursery. I got up innocently and the next thing I knew there was blood every where. I tried running after the nurse(well,technically walking like a tortoise) and I kept leaving trails of blood. I completely freaked out. Thank God another nurse saw me and came to my rescue and took me back to bed. I was so scared I requested her to check if I’m bleeding to death or not.lol. the bleeding slowly decreases and lochia as it’s called can last upto six weeks and during this period you might end up wearing maternity pads or adult diapers! yep

3) Breastfeeding is not as simple as just giving boobs

I used to think breastfeeding is the easiest and most natural thing ever but it’s not, it is actually a whole technique like who knew mathematics is not the only tricky thing to grasp?  This was definitely the most challenging thing post partum because if the baby does not latch onto your breast well, the nipples might end up cracking(true story) which is hella painful. It happened to me but thank God I managed that situation real quick with an amazing nipple cream. With a poor latch as well the baby might take in a lot of air which can give you one hell of a challenging time in case you don’t burp her well and especially if the baby develops colic(thank God we didn’t deal with colic). I literally had a complicated relationship with my boobs in short but Thank God for youtube videos, I managed to learn from this video filmed by  global health. It’s an incredible life saver and I send it to all my friends who are first time mums

4)going for a long call is so damn scary

I am going to be gross on this post because it’s about time women normalize all these stuff that happen to us. If I am to describe giving birth(normal), It is somehow similar to constipation but with a high level of pain. Just like constipation,it is difficult to get it out at first, but immediately it is out,there is a sigh of relief. After delivery, the first post delivery poop can be a nightmare. some doctors will insert a suppository  immediately after delivery to ensure you have loose stool. However later on at home while recovering and you get the urge to relieve yourself, you can even cry just thinking about it (personally I cried to be honest. more like overwhelmed with everything) At that moment you will remember your delivery experience and you also have stitches to worry about as well which in your mind you fear they will tear apart with every push. make vegetables and water your friend

5) your boobs will resemble wendy williams’

As if having bigger boobs during pregnancy is not enough, they tend to be even bigger when you are nursing. Mine are the size of the pair Wendy Williams has if not bigger. I think I’m carrying a continent up on here.. To make matters worse, your baby will probably just drain one boob when breastfeeding so you will be left with an unbalanced pair. Thank God for pumping otherwise you will look crazy in fitting clothes

6) You will be an emotional mess at some point

As a new mum you might find yourself crying for no reason.  Between the hormonal surges and all the new changes in your house hold, it can be too much to handle. Not having a clue how to help your baby when she is crying all the way to thinking about what your body has been through can send you down the crying lane. It doesn’t help that at that time you are also struggling to have a good latch during breastfeeding .I was a victim of occasional break down. One day I was breastfeeding and the baby was being fussy and at that moment I felt like a failure. I hadn’t mastered breastfeeding and to add to that I had had my first poop(scary as indicated above) and I was just thinking about labour ,the stretch marks I acquired and the huge tummy which I was busy tying at that time and at that very moment, I felt like I had had enough and just broke down. Having a good support system can help you not get into depression

7)Abdominal after pains

You will experience cramping especially while breastfeeding the first few days as it tapers off in the coming weeks. Your uterus at that point is trying to shrink back to it’s normal pre pregnancy size hence the minor pains. From what I have read, the cramps are less painful with the first pregnancy since the muscles are so elastic. However with every pregnancy, you are likely to have stronger after pains

8)Your baby weight will keep you company

Don’t even think about wasting time calculating your baby’s weight plus the weight of your placenta and what not in the hopes that in that delivery room alone you have shed X amount of weight. You are even more likely to look bigger after delivery than when you were nine months old. can you believe that? lol.You still need a few more calories a day when breastfeeding so you can’t afford to be on diet. Breastfeeding helps in cutting down the calories so in most cases you are better of taking care of your little one and worrying about weight later. The pressure is real though for people like me who put ourselves out there so you can imagine. I thank God I have friends who keep reminding me what’s important right now, and that is my baby growing healthy. I will still blog though as I work on it

9)sex is scary and ranges between uncomfortable to painful

well, you just let a human being through your lady parts and I guess CS or normal, the thought of sex is daunting because you have wounds to think about and you will wonder if you are ready or not. Honestly I don’t hear much talk about this yet most women can experience discomfort between 4 to 8 months!!! Did you get that? MONTHS not weeks. Of course just like pregnancy this can vary from one person to the other. An understanding partner is like gold for sure.

10)Hair loss and receding hairline is real

Next time you see a momma with a hairline that starts in the middle of her head don’t even try to laugh because the struggle has been real. From what I know so far it is mainly caused by breastfeeding but the normal hair falling is as a result of your hormones going back to normal and therefore you do not have the extra estrogen that previously made your hair look fuller and longer during pregnancy. Personally I am on those calcium supplements like my life depends on them so I have had minimal hair loss but trust me, I know friends who have suffered with a capital S!!!

There you have it, incase I have forgotten anything just be a darling and leave a comment about it below. Someone recently asked me if motherhood has changed me and I feel like I am more or less the same person but I have been schooled on having patience and most importantly I now truly appreciate my own mum more than I did before. Especially the fact that she went through this six times is just incredible. With or without these aftermaths, motherhood is beautiful. That’s just how God planned it so take it and celebrate it.

16 Comments

  1. Monica

    August 30, 2017 at 11:39 am

    Experienced the same when I had my little girl but you get better……one day at a time very insightful must read for every first time mum………love this blog

  2. Kufu

    August 30, 2017 at 11:42 am

    Very helpful am at 35 weeks with twins I can only imagine the journey ahead sigh

  3. Karyah Margaret

    August 30, 2017 at 12:32 pm

    For the tummy , it depends with the person. My sister gave birth and walked out of the hospital with a near flat tummy. We were shocked but now am seeing it more often at the coast.
    Immediately after birth “unakandwa ” very well and they “funga ” you with a belt. My sister recounts that it was very painful but worth it. One month down the line she had her flat tummy back.

    1. Nancy

      August 30, 2017 at 11:03 pm

      Wow..you are strong.. it gets better each day.

  4. Eddah Bunei

    August 30, 2017 at 1:22 pm

    I actually almost went into depression if I didn’t experience one that is.
    Cracked nipples, a restless baby who could not sleep for more than an hour; I was sleep deprived. On the day of discharge the pedetrician detected jeondis and i had to leave him in hospital for a few days, inside The blue light. I cried.
    The highlight of it all was developing deep Vein thrombosis (DVT ) less than a week after the emergency CS; I’d laboured for 12 hours.
    My leg was red and swollen I couldn’t put a foot down because it was extremely painful.
    I couldn’t carry my own baby, I was readmitted leaving a one week old at home with the dady!
    My son is now fine and healthy he’s 3!

  5. Ann

    August 30, 2017 at 2:31 pm

    Wow , getting a better idea of what to expect when i get to this journey.

  6. Esther

    August 30, 2017 at 2:59 pm

    Wow! I can relate to almost every one! New mum’s definitely need this!

  7. Christine Chongwo

    August 30, 2017 at 3:12 pm

    I love you pictures Maureen. And thaks for this courageous post!

  8. Judy

    August 30, 2017 at 3:53 pm

    like any other mum to be my expectation was to deliver a baby with no health issues.I had struggled through pregnancy and the thought of holding him was exciting.After the CS he had distress and later the same evening he has to be in ICU for the next 6days coz of a heart condition.
    It was painful to see him suffer;we left hospital 2wks later.Thanks to God he is healthy and fully recovered.
    Postpartum depression is real,struggled with breast feeding and baby having colic.My tummy is still big(as if am 5months pg)
    My son is now 3mths and healthy!☺

  9. Emilly Moraa

    August 30, 2017 at 4:01 pm

    You look amazing Maureen and i love the raw reality you have put out.Thank you for sharing,comes in handy for future first time mums like me

    http://www.styleonadime.co.ke

  10. Tina

    August 30, 2017 at 5:47 pm

    Hahaha , well put

  11. Phillippa

    August 30, 2017 at 7:10 pm

    I am officially terrified of having even one kid!??

  12. Modern Mom Kenya

    August 31, 2017 at 8:21 am

    Oh My Goodness Maureen! You have listed and explained in detail most some of the most embarrassing experiences we have as new mothers.

    I can add that on top of all that craziness going on, you will have little to no sleep. I now have 2 kids (my youngest is 1 year old), and I don’t remember when I last had a decent night’s sleep.

    Your pictures are stunning by the way. I will subscribe to your blog and add it to my post on mom bloggers in kenya . Do follow me as well for parenting and mummyhood articles.

  13. Noel

    August 31, 2017 at 12:34 pm

    great post
    i remember my first baby shower some of the things you mentioned were discussed and it was insightful and scary at the same time.its good to be prepared. i hope when i do get there i will be calm …hopefully

  14. Harrison M

    September 2, 2017 at 4:23 pm

    I’m a man, but wouldn’t have guessed that ladies go through so much immediately after childbirth.

    Thanks for the info.

  15. Samoina

    October 5, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Always refreshing to read more downright honest posts like these. Thanks Maureen!

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